Something Better Than This

I've written quite a few songs with lyrics that sound like they are about/for a romantic interest, partner, or lover, but actually aren't. Some of them are about non-romantic personal relationships, like with family members, but in many of them, the "you" is a feeling, a concept, or another side of myself.
In this song from 2003, "Something Better Than This", it might seem like I'm heartbroken over the loss of a boyfriend, but the "you" I am singing about is joy: optimism, inspiration, happiness.
I have struggled with depression and other mental health issues a lot in my life. It has always seemed to come in waves and at random times. I might be productive, inspired, riding high, and then suddenly my landscape would change, and all hope, all purpose, all joy would be sucked out of view. This song was written from that desolate place.

(Karmen Buttler - acoustic guitar and harmonies, Mark Goldstein - bass, Stuart Gunter - drums)

SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS

I spent a twisted night, without sleep
Wondering 'Where did I go wrong?'
'How did I lose you?'

I spend my listless life, I wait here
Wondering 'Where did I go wrong?'
'How did I lose you?'

There was a time
When I believed in
Something better than this
There was a time
When I still dreamed
All I do now is wish

I left the scream inside my mouth
Pushed it down 'How did I go wrong?'
'Where did I lose you?'

God knows I know I could die here
Just lie here just lie here
How can I go on now that I've lost you?

Dreams are made for waking and I'm making up my bed
Daylight is for waiting and there's seven hours left

PHOTO by Will May

LH and Karmen by Will May.jpeg